Helene’s site of wonder

by Marshall B. Rosenberg.

My review:

This book is fantastic !!!!! I even liked it so much that I have bought it as an ebook and as a paperbook. This book should be tought in schools, from kindergarten to university. It shows us how we are brought up thinking in terms of right thinking and wrong thinking, instead of focusing on what our needs are.

I often experience that my words are being misunderstood (and who doesn’t?) and when I voice my opinion, people explode in agression. I have one recent experience of this:

My mother just got married, and as it usually is, there was a wedding dinner and party afterwards. I got to know a little bit one of the guests, and she (let’s call her Elise) was having a bit of trouble with her boyfriend of many years. My mother managed to act and say something stupid, and Elise was fuming in anger when I happen to meet her on the way in to the party premises. I got to know Elise a little bit, and after a while I realized that Elise needed a lot of attention and understanding/loving care. The problem was that she went after that attention in the wrong way, by talking about her views, opinions, acting a certain way and forcing others to acknowledge her, which led to others being angry at her for not taking considerations of others.

So while I was sitting with some of these people, she said something like: “Let’s go, I don’t want to be here”, and she left. And then the other people muttered something badly about her. That was when I opened my mouth and told them: Don’t you see how much she is hurting? She needs understanding and loving care from you.

That’s when the explosion happened, and they got quite aggressive towards me, and I reacted as I do after a while, I stopped talking and just accepted the verbal abuse. They were obviously in so much pain that had accumulated over much time, that the only way to express that pain was by being aggressive, taking the high morale way, saying that I didn’t know what I was talking about etc. In other words, they weren’t able to express their pain, instead they were talking about the “correct way of thinking and acting”, and “she doesn’t deserve any compassion, she got herself into that mess”. This book shows me how to deal with these situations, relieving the pain of others and at the same time avoiding being verbally abused myself.

This books shows how one can deal with any situation, in a way that is beneficial for you and others. As the book title says: A language of compassion. And that compassion extends to our selves. It shows how one can focus ones attention to ones needs instead of focusing on what others did wrong or what “I” did wrong.

I strongly urge everybody (and yes, you who reads this), to read this book. It should be one of the compulsory tools in our toolbox for dealing with life.

Book description:

Do you hunger for skills to improve the quality of your relationships, to deepen your sense of personal empowerment or to simply communicate more effectively? Unfortunately, for centuries our culture has taught us to think and speak in ways that can actually perpetuate conflict, internal pain and even violence. Nonviolent Communication partners practical skills with a powerful consciousness and vocabulary to help you get what you want peacefully.

In this internationally acclaimed text, Marshall Rosenberg offers insightful stories, anecdotes, practical exercises and role-plays that will dramatically change your approach to communication for the better. Discover how the language you use can strengthen your relationships, build trust, prevent conflicts and heal pain. Revolutionary, yet simple, NVC offers you the most effective tools to reduce violence and create peace in your life?one interaction at a time.

This book was the winner of the 2006 Hugo Award.

Product description:
One night in October when he was ten years old, Tyler Dupree stood in his back yard and watched the stars go out. They all flared into brilliance at once, then disappeared, replaced by a flat, empty black barrier. He and his best friends, Jason and Diane Lawton, had seen what became known as the Big Blackout. It would shape their lives.

The effect is worldwide. The sun is now a featureless disk–a heat source, rather than an astronomical object. The moon is gone, but tides remain. Not only have the world?s artificial satellites fallen out of orbit, their recovered remains are pitted and aged, as though they?d been in space far longer than their known lifespans. As Tyler, Jason, and Diane grow up, a space probe reveals a bizarre truth: The barrier is artificial, generated by huge alien artifacts. Time is passing faster outside the barrier than inside–more than a hundred million years per year on Earth. At this rate, the death throes of the sun are only about forty years in our future.

Jason, now a promising young scientist, devotes his life to working against this slow-moving apocalypse. Diane throws herself into hedonism, marrying a sinister cult leader who?s forged a new religion out of the fears of the masses.

Earth sends terraforming machines to Mars to let the onrush of time do its work, turning the planet green. Next they send humans?and immediately get back an emissary with thousands of years of stories to tell about the settling of Mars. Then Earth?s probes reveal that an identical barrier has appeared around Mars. Jason, desperate, seeds near space with self-replicating machines that will scatter copies of themselves outward from the sun–and report back on what they find.

Life on Earth is about to get much, much stranger.

My review:
The book starts great by presenting a mystery that is slowly revealed through the whole book. For most of the book, I can’t stop reading because I need to know what happens next.

The ending wasn’t entirely what I expected, but Robert Charles Wilson have already written the second book and is probably writing on his third now (which will have the name Vortex), so the tale is not finished.

I like reading books, and lately I have been reading a lot. So, when I started spending to much on books each month I decided it was about time to start reading some of the unread books that was in my bookshelf.

It was the second time I tried to read Winterbirth. The first time I managed to get to page 70 or something before I gave up. Currently I´m at page 250 and the only thing that keeps me going is stubbornness. I have paid for the book, so I better damn read it as well.

Grade: 1 of 10 (1 - bad, 6 - Excellent)

What makes this a shitty book?

Names, names and names. Thanes, thanes and oh - thanes. It seems like the author just have to put in all possible names into the book (there are two names in each sentence), and he expects you to remember them all. So, unless you enjoy family research, then I wish you good luck.

Descriptions. For some reason (might be because I´m not english) descriptions can be tedious. I don´t seem to understand what is being described before I get to the end of the sentence. All the descriptions doesn´t really let you into the skin of the characters in the book. After 250 pages I´m only hoping a lot of the people in the book may die so I might get to know at least a couple of them and stay with them for a longer period.

Battles. What makes battles interesting? I still haven´t figured it out.

So, should I finish the book just so I can say I did it?

Update: I did read it through, and it got a little better after 250 pages. Enough that I now will give it 2 of 10 stars.